Your Love is Strong

Easter Sunday was yesterday here is Australia. It was my first Easter away from home and it was a tough one. I woke up happy but the dreary weather quickly put a damper on my mood. Katie and I walked to church but it just didn't feel right. Going to church felt right, but not going to my church didn't feel right, it didn't feel like home. I didn't have a delicious dinner to look forward to. All I could think of was my lean cuisine sitting in the freezer and how it would probably be the extent of my Easter dinner. Suddenly, I missed home the most since I've been here. I don't think you realize how valuable friends and family are on holidays until you don't have them there. Katie and I were going to go to an Easter art show but I was just not in an emotional state to go out. I sat in my room, feeling pretty lonely and depressed. I tried to nap but my mind wouldn't stop racing. Sweet Katie sent me a text saying she left something for me downstairs so once I mustered up the energy I headed down there. On every stair step there was a chocolate egg trailing to my makeshift Easter basket filled with an assortment of candy. It definitely brightened my mood but still didn't take away the loneliness I felt. After awhile I invited Katie back over and I made us some spaghetti and we watched Ratatouille. Though it didn't feel Easter-esque it was still enjoyable. When I woke up this morning and checked facebook, everyone's statuses were about Easter and all of a sudden it felt like Easter. Almost as if I couldn't celebrate Easter until my friends and family back home could too. So to me, today is Easter and I am definitely okay with that. I ate a chocolate bunny for breakfast and listened to some music to have my own little Easter celebration. One of the songs I listened to was "Your Love is Strong" by Jon Foreman and I ended up putting it on repeat. What a wonderful message. Thanks Jon, and thank you Jesus for your strong love and what you gave up for my sake.

Heavenly Father, you always amaze me
Let your kingdom come in my world and in my life
Give me the food I need to live through today and
Forgive me as I forgive the people that wrong me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window the birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune or out of place
I walk to the meadow and stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl on her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens is now advancing
Invade my heart, invade this broken town
The kingdom of the Heavens is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself to buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons

You're alive and you matter and this pink holiday doesn't get to name you.

This is for my United States loves who are living in February 14th.

Confidence

Yesterday was a bad day that turned into a good night. I needed a dress for the New Years Eve party I was attending and much to my dismay... none of my dresses fit anymore. I guess you don't really realize weight gain that's very gradual but I could definitely tell yesterday. I made a trip to Ross to find an inexpensive dress and was nothing but disappointed. Nothing seemed to fit right and the dresses that did fit, didn't flatter me at all. I just felt like an overweight glob of grease. I popped into Maurices to see if I could find anything and I did find a dress that unfortunately was $44. I somehow justified buying it and made my way home. My mom called me and asked how I was and I just started crying. I told her how terrible I felt about my body and how mad I was at myself for letting myself gain weight. She reminded me that it's been a hard year for me and although it is quite the uphill battle, I can lose the weight. I felt a little better but still did not feel very great until I went to the party. I forgot about what had happened earlier and just had a good time. I was having a side conversation with a friend and I had mentioned my weight gain and how unhappy I was with my body. She proceeded to tell me that she didn't (nor did anyone else) even notice I gained weight because I was so confident with who I was. Although I don't feel very confident on the inside I know that I act like it on the outside. I guess it just got me thinking that confidence really is everything. Whether you act like you're just as good or not as good as every other person in that room, people truely believe it.

I found this quote and realized how true it is for me and so many people I know...

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are." -Malcolm S. Forbes

So... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: To stop overvaluing what I'm not and stop undervaluing what I am.

It's December already?!

I cannot believe we're already a week into December. I don't know if it's just me but I swear November and December slip away much faster than the other months. It's like Halloween happens, then you wake up a few days later and you're eating Turkey on Thanksgiving, and then all of a sudden you're rushing around doing Christmasy things. What a crazy, chaotic, wonderful time of year.

These last two weeks have been ridiculously chaotic. Dead week and finals week have not been treating me very well but come this Friday it will all be over. And I am happy to say that I will not be attending school in the States until next fall.

I leave to study abroad at Macquarie University in Sydney, Australia on February 10th. Words cannot express the excitement that I feel. I know it's only two short months away but I am getting so eager! I want it to be so much sooner than it is! But all good things are worth waiting for. I come home sometime around June 27th. So it will be quite the long adventure! I am excited to do a sort of travel blog while I'm gone.

Aside from listening to Christmas music 97% of the time, I have become mildly obsessed with Phil Wickham. I never really listened to him much until last February when my roommate and I went to go see JJ Heller in concert. Phil was the second act and I have never been so in awe of a musician before. First of all, his voice is unreal. I've never heard anyone with the kind of range that he has. His music is unbelievable. A new album came out a few weeks ago and I am loving it just as much as his other stuff. There are some of his songs that I can just put on repeat and not get sick of. The song that plays on my blog is called "You're Beautiful" and it honestly brings tears to my eyes everytime I hear it. It is such a beautiful song with such an beautiful meaning. Everything about God is so beautiful and this song expresses that. Ahh... I am just in love... with him and his music. Oh, and I am going to his concert in Portland on New Years Eve! I can't wait!

And if you forgot how ridiculously awesome and beautiful God is...